I’ve always known I was adopted. I don’t ever remember being sat down and told about it, it’s just something I have always known. I was adopted at two days old. My birth parents were only 16 when they had me and as much as they wanted to keep me, they knew that they were just too young and couldn’t handle being parents at that point. My birth mother’s parents were foster parents, and connected with my Mom and Dad when they had attempted to adopt another child that was in their care. That adoption ended up falling through, but when Cheryl (my birth mom) became pregnant she remembered meeting my parents and really liked them. So she decided to make an adoption plan with my parents.
I grew up knowing my adoption story. I knew my birth parents were 16, that their names were Cheryl and Loren. I had pictures of them in the hospital with me that I would look at occasionally, but it was never at the forefront of my mind. My mom and dad were always Kelley and David, they were my “real” parents as so many people attempted to call my birth parents when I told them. When I had questions, my Mom would always do her best to answer in an age appropriate manner. My parents always told me that my biological parents said that they wanted to meet me when I was 18 if I chose to. My Mom and Cheryl sent letters and pictures back and forth for most of my life, and finally when I was 15 I started to become more curious. I asked my Mom if I could read some of those letters from Cheryl that she had deemed to mature for me at the time. She agreed, but said there was something I should know before I read it. Two years after Cheryl and Loren had me, they had another baby at 18. I had a full sister! It was then that we decided it was the right time to pursue a relationship with my biological family.
Before we jumped into anything, my mom, dad, sister, and I went to an adoption counselor. Not only to figure out if it was legal (as in the original contract, it was stated that I had to be 18 to pursue contact) but also to see how everyone would feel about it. My family was incredibly supportive. However it was hard on my younger sister who is also adopted but was too young to connect with her birth family yet. After much conversation, the adoption counselor decided to send a release form to my birth mother to see if she would be willing to send us information. The counselor ended up making a mistake and putting my last name on the release form, which my birth mom didn’t know. My birth sister Tori being a curious 14 year old decided to look me up on myspace. Well, she ended up finding me and the rest is history! I went down to Georgia to visit within a few months of that first initial contact and have since gone down every summer for the past 8 years.
Getting to know my birth family has been a life changing experience. I feel complete after knowing where I came from. I struggled in the beginning with questions on why I was adopted and not Tori who was only born two years later. Now at the age of 24, I am incredibly thankful I was adopted. I see the life my birth family has and as much as I love them, it isn’t easy. Having children at such a young age makes life difficult. I am thankful that my parents were ready and at a stable point in their life when they made the choice to become parents. I got to do things that I never would have been able to do staying with my birth family. I also feel blessed that I not only was raised by such amazing people, but that I do have a relationship with my birth family. I have the best of both worlds and double the people to love me. I’ve been fortunate enough to be very lucky in life.
